Soapy

Dear Days of Our Lives,

You know it's sweeps, right? So, like, something should be happening on your show? Like ... and this is just something I'm throwing out there ... plot resolution? YOU MUST WRAP SOMETHING UP. Pick one! Marlena accidentally washes the brainwashing necklace down the drain and gets back to John. Carrie finds out that Lexie is a huge liar allowing my favorites Sami and Lucas to get back together. Or, FOR THE LOVE OF PATERNITY PLOT LINES EVERYWHERE, please let everyone find out that Claire is Sean's baby. You've been yanking that storyline around for over a year. I AM TOTALLY OVER IT.

I mean, half of the show consists of people typing on lap tops lately. Bo and Hope trying to IM each other with Chelsea interfering? Here's a hint: it is not interesting to watch people type on laptops and read what they are typing aloud. That is what the whole world does every day. We don't need to see soap stars doing it. Gah. Passions has been on for seven minutes and already I've seen a mermaid, a skeleton and a knife fight.

P.S. Soap opera digest: call me!

My Wolverine Action Figure is just waiting for General Hospital to come on.