cold feet, literally

Dear slippers,

I don't know where you are, but if you would come out I would really appreciate it. I know that you thought last winter was going to be the end of your tenure, and you were going to finally get to go into slipper retirement, but funds are tight, and well, you're still fuzzy. Also it's cold out, but we have to pay utilities in this place, and gas is really expensive. Look, I don't think I should have to explain the intricacies of the market to you. PLEASE JUST COME INTO THE LIVING ROOM SO I CAN WEAR YOU.

Thank you,
your owners, JG's feet

My Wolverine Action Figure is smug, plastic is immune to the elements, he keeps telling me. Like he didn't bitch when it was hot out.